by Alveena Salim

A little boy in my class offered me a ‘chill pill’ a few days ago. Instead of biting his head off, as I have been doing for the past week. I found myself laughing.

Truth is, I could do with a ‘chill pill’.

Last week I was such a cranky teacher. My comments to the children were always snappy…

Did I need to know that?

Hand down. Not interested.

I’ve explained it to you numerous times. Figure it out yourself now.

Is it an emergency? No? So put your hand down.

Stop fussing…grow up

Don’t touch me..stop tugging at my skirt.

Are you the teacher?


Kids were on the naughty wall, detention etc on a daily basis..

I was particularly annoyed with a little girl in my class last week…she has issues… she lies, steals, bites and bullies other children….she had the nerve to complain about someone copying her work. She’s a lazy child. Instead of writing words and sentences, she scribbles instead. Why would anyone want to copy her work? After all, kids could copy the work of the brighter children who sit around her…I even told her that.

When I was placements during my teacher’s training course, I used to observe cranky teachers and wonder why they were in this profession…..this job is physically and mentally draining…there are no financial incentives…you have no social life …its only passion for teaching or love of children that keeps one sane in this profession…

However, last week I was one cranky Madam. There’s no excuse for being moody..however, I had things going on…despite working through lunch and bringing work home, I was behind on my paperwork – and still am…I felt burnt out…and cos I was fasting and also trying to get my strength/weight back on I was so tired …I caught a flu…lost my voice…late nights back from Tarawih and early mornings meant I was sleep deprived…I was once again stuck with a academically challenged class which meant that I had my work cut out for me…

..and thats why the kids were stuck with a cranky teacher.

Slowly but surely I’m beginning to chill out a bit..

The other day the naughtiest child in my class tore off all the stickers from the sticker chart of one of my more able kids and stuck them on his own chart…that was clever of him, but he was silly to think that he wouldnt get caught. When I asked him why he did that, he mentioned that the other kid had so many whilst he had none…

I didnt have the heart to tell him off.

Some boys in my class got together and managed to beat up the class bully…apparently they did it for me. They didnt like how he played up every lesson and annoyed me, so they got together, restrained him and spanked his bottom until it was red and sore…

Yes, I did punish them. However, I couldn’t help but think…that boy was well overdue a spanking.

My class has a really bad habit of telling lies. What makes me laugh is that, their lies are so unbelievable..I dont know how they manage to keep a straight face when they lie to me…

No, Ben* and kelly*, you are not allowed to come into the classroom during lunchtimes, only a selected few are allowed to be inside during this month….. And No, you are NOT Muslims on Mondays.

What do you mean your hands just slipped and repeatedly started to punch the Year 2 boys in their stomach? And no, your hands do not have a life of their own..

No, it wasnt your twin brother who I saw throwing stones at the headteachers office, you do not have a twin brother!!

What do you mean you was just finding the snails a home when you slipped one into her top?

Yeah, I’m still telling kids off..however instead of rolling my eyes at them, now I’m trying to cover my smile…

Today, the same little boy who offered me a ‘chill pill’ told me that when he grows up he wants to marry me…I was pleased to note that I’m the old ‘Ms Slim’ again.

No, not the one that encourages kids to marry her…but the one who makes kids enjoy school and want to steal flowers for me from their neighbour’s garden and the school grounds just to please me