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The BNP are planning to set up their own private school it was announced yesterday. The proposed school will be situated in Barking and Dagenham, with plans to convert an old, derelict building to save costs. BNP White Primary is expected to be up and running within eight months. The decision came amid fears that the Party was taken for granted by the British public and the media.

“We’ve been calling Jews pigs for years and we barely get a mention these days. We needed a new strategy. Setting up a school sends a message to people that we mean business,” Chairman Nick Griffin said from his office at BNP HQ. “What really makes our blood boil is that Muslims are the apple of the media’s eye – if one of them just sneezes, they get front page for engaging in biological warfare.”

News of the school has gathered support from various people across the country, with former presenter, ex-politician and full-time racist Robert Kilroy-Silk declaring his patronage to the institution. He intends to inaugurate the school upon completion, stating that it’s “long overdue curriculum is vital to the future of Britain”.

The school’s already hired headmaster, Mr White, explained: “I have a dream that one day little white boys and white girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls, playing happily without being exposed to the offspring of lesser races. This is our hope and our mission.”

Classes will include proposed themes such as ‘Where in the world?’, which will teach students the exact origins of immigrants in order to dispel stereotypes that racists are stupid. The children will also be able to go on school trips abroad. “Our go-to history trip will of course be Auschwitz; my children can’t wait to go,” Mr White told Satirical Muslim.

Even the food served in the canteen will hold significance it seems. A sign in the cafeteria will canonise that the milk served at lunch symbolises racial superiority, while the rice and tea demonstrates “British Imperial conquest”. Contrary to English tradition, it is forbidden to pour milk in tea on the school premises. “Multiculturalism in all its forms is not tolerated here” Mr White said.

“We believe it’s important to instil in children a love of the British culture; nothing but the best of our nation’s grub will be served here. Our main dish will be curry; we don’t want the children eating any of that foreign nonsense,” the newly hired dinner lady explained.

The school’s motto, “White makes Right”, will hang over the gates of the school and visitors will be asked to provide evidence of an authentic family tree going back as far as five generations to ensure “racial purity”, explained Mr White, who added that the only newspaper permitted in the staff room will be the Daily Mail.

The launch will be a grand affair with racists from all over the country invited. “We’re hoping to get Prussian Blue to perform at the opening; that would be a dream come true for my daughters,” said Mr White.

Critics of the BNP have expressed their disgust at the news, with the most vocal being Big Brother contestant Jade Goody. “I’m not racist, it’s not like I’m racist or summik. Actually, two of the things I hate most in this world are people who are racist and Poppadums.”

One of the hopeful pupils currently on the waiting list spoke to Satirical Muslim about her reasons for wanting to enrol. “Ragheads have their schools, Pakis have theirs, Pikeys don’t go to school. I’m not being racist, I just hate foreigners. By going to this school, I’m telling the world, ‘It’s good to be white’,” Felicity, aged 6, said.