by Alveena Salim
How many women do this for their husbands?
Many friends of mine (from the East and the West), are the type of people who at home, will dress in joggers or have oil in their hair. They will use their evenings (in front of their husbands) to put on face masks, nose pore strips, oil their hair or shave their legs. Whilst they would never pick their spots or wax their eyebrows in front of their friends. It’s OK to do so in front of their husbands. But whenever they go out, they are dressed to the nines. For their friends.
The non hijaabi’s are the type who will never leave the house without freshly washed or blow dried hair. Whilst the hijaabi’s are the type to keep it simple at home and out of the home.
I’m not trying to put any sisters down. But the fact remains that, out of the home, men are bombarded with images of beautiful women all the time. Islamically, there is a reason why women are required to dress up and look their best for their husband.
How many women do this? How many women look better for others or friends and family than they do for their husbands.
Not trying to generalize but my experiences of living in the Middle East has shown me that the Arab women seem to have it perfected to the T. There is no procedure they dont do: facials, massages, hair dye, hair colour, plucking, waxing, polishing etc etc. The spas in the Middle East are in abundence and their grooming industry is one of the best in the world. It can be argued that they have taken it to the extreme. However, there is a lesson to be learnt here. These same women, make sure that they are covered from head to toe when they leave the house. Their beauty is for their husband.
I do not dispute the fact that women are busy. Many have kids. Some work too. Some study too. Some work, study, have kids AND run a house as well. But even those women manage to stay on top of their grooming.
Its about effort.
If something is important enough for you. You will make the time and effort to do it.
I’m not suggesting that women should do the hoovering housework in sexy kitten heels. No one has to get dolled up as a bride daily. Its little things like, making sure your hair is not greasy. You’re wearing clothes he likes. Or have your hair/make up done the way he likes. Keeping on top of hair cuts, facials, waxing (if you need it).
It does not take a significant amount of time or money to make sure that you look pretty at the end of the day when he comes home from work.
You can look like a slob in mismatched greasy clothes all day. Just get out of then 20min before he gets home from work.
Some women are insulted by the idea of being pleasing to the eye. Yes, personality, deen, character, behaviour is far more important and is probably the reason why your husbands love you. However, its not just our inner beauty that pleases men but our outer beauty too.
Whether your husband is not shallow, not obsessed with fashion, doesnt care for make up etc doesnt change the fact that men by NATURE are visual beings. Looking good DOES and WILL have an effect for him.
Whilst the female sahaba didnt go to salons to beautify themselves. They took care of their bodies. They would apply hennah (a form of hair dye and used as decorative purposed for the hands), remove unwanted hair – the Hadrat Aisha (ra) and others would wear fine clothes and jewelry at home and when they were travelling in order to look good for their husbands.
In fact, one of the wives of the Prophet (saw) applied perfume after three days of grieving for the death of her brother, not because she wanted to, but because it was a form of beautification for her husband. She was conscious of not being in the state of mourning for more than three days, because she was a married woman.
Islam recommends that you should beautify yourself for your husband. It doesnt matter what you do. How you do it. The teaching is that you look good for him.
How many women consider looking good for their husband this an important part of their marriage?